Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes: movie review 9/9/11

Warning: this review may contain spoilers

I have to admit, I was not looking forward to seeing this movie, being practically raised on the series thanks to my dad, I could tell that this movie wasn’t at all like the original idea of how the apes took over the world. But, I have to say, I LOVED THIS MOVIE! And now I’m gonna tell you why~

Really, unless you have been living under a rock for the past… forever, then you are familiar with the concept of planet of the apes, for those of you that have in fact been living under the aforementioned rock, the entire series revolves around the fact that apes took over the world, and the human race gets wiped out. The movies before this one were about thousands of years in the future after the monkeys took over and how they evolved into a civilized species, complete with clothes and armor. Not many people are aware of how this actually came to being, in the original, Ceaser, a chimp from the future, gets into a space ship, gets lost, somehow goes into a wormhole and ends up in the past. In this alternate universe, cats and dogs are wiped out by a virus of sorts, forcing the human race to take monkeys in as pets, because everyone knows the human race has always had a need to dominate some sort of animal, and birds and fish just don’t cut it. Eventually the virus spreads to people and kills them. The apes take over. If you don’t want spoilers don’t read the following paragraph, the one after that is my true review.

This is not how this movie plays out. In this version, a well known scientist is struggling with the fact that his father has severe alzheimer’s. In an attempt to reverse the effects he creates a drug, in the process of making it, he tests it on apes, one ape in particular passes the effects onto her baby, but dies herself because of the drug. The scientist takes the baby chimp because the company he works for wants to kill it. He had no idea how the drug he created would affect the baby chimp and to his amazement, he discovers the cute little guy learning faster than any human child ever could. He treats the chimp like his own child, teaching him sign language and giving him his own well decorated room in the attic. When he sees how well the chimp is doing, he decides to take the risk and give the drug to his father, it works. Not only does his father recover, but his intelligence actually improves on how it was pre-alzheimer’s. All looks well, until after a few years, when his fathers immune system starts to fight off the drug, and his alzheimer’s comes back. The now senile father goes out, trying to drive a neighbors car, which pisses off the neighbor, who starts getting rough with the poor old guy, which in turn pisses off Ceasar. What follows puts Ceasar into a primate holding center, which looks nice at first, but you later find out that Draco Malfoy is the guy who is taking care of them. Surprise surprise Draco Malfoy is kind of an ass to both wizards and monkeys. He pretty much single handedly pisses off the monkeys so much that they break out and “Rise”. I don’t want to go much farther into it than that, it’s pretty much the base story.

That's right Ceasar, you tell them who's number 1!

This movie was fantastic. It completely blew me away. The graphics they used for the apes was flawless, and the way they captured Ceasars emotions through the same guy that played Golum from Lord Of The Rings was amazing. Everyone truly felt connected to him and by the end of the movie everyone in the theater was rooting for the apes to win, which was a shocker to me. Just about every ape has it’s own personality, you can tell almost each and every one of them apart, you would think that they would all look the same, and that Ceasar would easily disappear in the mob of monkeys, but that’s not true, you can tell him apart from all the others, and all the main ones can be easily spotted as well. The movie also incorporates details from the original series into this new techy version, including the space ship that gets lost, which leads to the past movies, and Ceasars first word, which was covered in one of the first few movies. One of the things with this film is you really have to pay attention, small details that seem to pop up in random parts of the movieĀ  have major consequences later on. Usually I can find something wrong with a movie, especially inconsistencies, those little moments where you ask “What happened with this? Where did this guy go?” but they really keep track of all of them. I can’t find a single thing wrong with this, at first I thought I did, namely, how did they human race get wiped out, but wait a couple seconds after the credits start and they catch that as well. As for the music, also fantastic! So for the final review, go see this! It really is worth seeing in theaters. In all honesty, I will probably go see it again, that’s how much I enjoyed it.


Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark: Movie Review 9/5/11

A little warning before you read my movie reviews, there is a possibility of spoilers. You’ve been warned.

I don't know why it says the wrong date...


Like many other horror movie fans, I was excited to see Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark. It looked a bit different than the other generic horror movies that are coming out this summer and I thought I would enjoy it. If you were expecting a movie about a haunted house, then you’re wrong.

The movie starts out with a pretty brutal scene set around the 18th century. This scene gives you a hint about what is going on with the house, and what’s going to happen throughout the rest of the movie. The little creatures were scary at first, they were about 2 inches tall, humpbacked little things with hazy eyes, I don’t want to give away what they were exactly and what they were trying to accomplish, but their main goal seemed to be to terrify the crap out of this little girl mostly by whispering her name, hiding under things, and screwing up her toys. It really doesn’t explain why they take their sweet time with this, or why her dad is so ignorant to her sheer terror. It seems that at every chance she gets to show him what’s going on he just ignores her.


They're pretty creepy looking at first

Anyway, to the final review, yeah the things areĀ  creepy looking, but after a while they just get annoying, it gets to the point where you are just like “Ok, that’s enough, you little bastards can go away now!” The movie loses its creepyness pretty early on. It’s deffinately not a movie that will keep you up with the creeps late at night. The ones who would really get scared by this are kids, of course you don’t want to bring your young kids there (To all those parents who decide to take their screaming five year olds to adult movies instead of getting a babysitter) this is more of a movie for teenagers, maybe… 14-16 year olds who enjoy more of the gory stuff because there are some pretty brutal parts, one at the beginning and one at the end, one of them involves bone snapping, which is cringe worthy, so if your teen has a weak stomach you might want to tell them to close their eyes, and maybe ears. All in all it was an OK movie, nothing really to write home about, and it definately won’t be haunting my memories any time soon. Wait for this one to come out on DVD and rent it at one of those $1.00 kiosks, you won’t feel bad about it.